You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
