help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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