he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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