Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
