Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
