i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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