I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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