The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
