first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
