The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
