Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
