your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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