Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
