We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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