I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
