There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
