It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
