Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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