can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
tell me about the fingering
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