This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
