so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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