): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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