did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
