You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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