The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
