Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize