I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
