Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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