Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
