Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
