Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
