i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
