yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
