Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
