Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
