I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
