are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
