Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I FOUND THE LEGS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
