Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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