God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize