Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So vagazzling was a success
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
