It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
