My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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