Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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