I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
