Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
