For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dating After Heartbreak
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.