Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4764) Bad night (598)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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  (910): ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/m81e
  Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (3490)
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  (518): View more from New York

  no really all good couples have similar hair colors!

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  (518): no really all good couples have similar hair colors! http://tfl.nu/r50f
  Replies (42) Good night (1219) Bad night (3487)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  3some

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You're right, stupid question.

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  (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x
  Replies (21) Good night (10267) Bad night (1132)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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  (281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve. http://tfl.nu/asc9
  Replies (6) Good night (6657) Bad night (1071)
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  (415): View more from California

  There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

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  (415): There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail. http://tfl.nu/6ic6
  Replies (43) Good night (6292) Bad night (1564)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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  (561): I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead." http://tfl.nu/np5o
  Replies (2) Good night (3092) Bad night (1140)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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  (330): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call http://tfl.nu/x7fj
  Replies (10) Good night (1890) Bad night (570)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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  (919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9
  Replies (4) Good night (2689) Bad night (878)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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  (310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92
  Replies (8) Good night (1043) Bad night (454)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.

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  (865): Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this. http://tfl.nu/hz85
  Replies (11) Good night (1962) Bad night (523)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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  (505): At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right http://tfl.nu/tpj0
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (584)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.

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  (616): i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget. http://tfl.nu/97ka
  Replies (7) Good night (1482) Bad night (421)
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  (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (253)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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  (860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk
  Replies (7) Good night (323) Bad night (893)

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