Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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