I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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