Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
