Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
