shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
