I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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