On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize