hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do herpes really smell.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
