i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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