In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
