Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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