K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
