she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
