he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
