Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
