Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
