everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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